Here's my question:
As a child, I was picked on very much and I actually don't like to revisit those memories. My self esteem has much improved over time, b"H/chasdai Hashem, but it still bothers me that someone could hurt me like that. It happened most, if not all, of elementary school. Now that I'm engaged, b"H, my fiancé wonders why it still bothers me, all this time later...like, so much time has passed, it makes him wonder what the shpiel is (like, is it unhealthy or whatever, to still be thinking about it). At this point, it ended about 13 years ago, but it went on for a number of years). I feel bad that I can't share this experience with him, as...it really was a (big?) part of my life and I want him to know how I struggled, so he'll sympathise. The thing is, he just seems bothered by it, bc he's bothered that I'm 'bothered.' Honestly, I wondered say I'm bothered by that anymore, just...annoyed and well, bothered, that someone could do that to me; not bothered in the sense that it happened or dwelling on it, chas v'shalom (G-d forbid), but in the sense that someone would do that to me, like, I didn't count in their eyes. Is it abnormal to still be bothered by something in my childhood, something that took years to work through, that I, obviously, still struggle with on some level? I'm much more open minded and forgiving, both of myself ('how could I let that happen?) and of others (why dude??). At the same time, I want to share this with my chosson because I really struggled. Why can't he know that? Why doesn't he get it? He just feels bothered that it bothers me still...yes, it does. Things from my childhood still bother me because it had a huge impact on me and my life, how I saw myself, etc. He's absolutely right that time should've healed this, but I still feel the after effects sometimes. I don't think about it much, and I definitely don't dwell on it...how do I approach this? Is it normal to not be able to share everything with your fiancé? is it possible he will understand more later? I did explain that I moved away from that negative place, step by step, but it took time, and that I don't think about it much anymore.
Thanks in advance for the feedback