Hey Jews with questions family.
So I keep meeting people who are in positions of teaching and often I find that they distort information and then pass it off as authorative Judaism. This scares me. Its like, any person can just put on a yarmalka, grow a beard, and then say whatever they want.
I keep finding myself in situations where "I know this person is saying falsehoods." I know Im supposed to judge l'kaf zechut, but I feel like alot of people are just "dirty." The Jewish world gives them so much to gain from. The prestige, the money. The control. They have their own desires and such.
All of this has made it so I don't want to support whatever group they are a part of, whether it be a shul or a kiruv organization, or what have you.
I keep putting walls up. "Oh well, obviously this guy needs to put bread on the table." Its like, every day, I realize why people don't trust religion. It makes sense. It really does. I think about what Rav Chaim Sonnefeld ztvkl said about how a certain rav says things that are good, for wicked purposes, and thats what I keep seeing.
Yeah, you keep talking about G-d. Now you are lulling me into your trap. You are making me think you're on my side. But under the hood, I find some things wrong with you. I find this alot with Lubavitch. I find this alot with people under the "modern orthodox" banner (its really a huge spectrum, Im not bashing all of modern orthodoxy, REALLY).
You don't care about gedolei Yisroel even though they are the bearers of the mesorah. You allow goyim to convert under wishy washy standards (I will never feel comfortble marrying a ger, nor do I want my children to marry a ger or even the children of gerim because Im afraid that they still have their goy status even though an "orthodox bet din" oked them.) I just think the people involved in this stuff are just looking for more people who will buy three dollar slices of pizza.
Rabbis. I used to always trust Rabbis. But then I found many rabbis who weren't really doing the right thing. Maybe they Lubavitch friendly. That always sets alarms for me. Maybe they spew zionist propagnda. I just go "Is this n***a serious? Oh well, maybe hes been scarred by the memory of the holocaust so if he can't be objective under such trauma, I don't think I should give him mymoney. After all, Zionism is dangerous for klal Yisroel, so that kinda makes this guy a danger to klal Yisroel too."
Im critical. I have EVERY right to be critical. I'm not going to just let anyone into my mind. If you work in kiruv, there HAS to be something up with you. You HAVE to atleast want to do this because you think you can change the world. Something egotistical like that. Or maybe you're just bored. Thank G-d Im out of that parsha of naively believing whatever someone says because he can learn gemara. Because I know when someone isn't on the straight path. And that person shouldn't have reshut into my mind. He isn't worthy. "This one is controlled by his yaitzer hara. Hes just going along with the ride. Better ignore him."
"Oh that sounds like conservative apikorusus to me."
People tell me "you are too critical." Its ok, keep hitting that snooze button.