52 replies to this topic

[Struggling teen]

I don't understand people!! Today about 4 hours ago I was told by a teacher that my future is black and bad and I will be fired from every job. Now who says this to a student?! even if I was to jump around her class throw stuff yell etc im just making up crazy example you still don't say that to a student!!!!!! I am like shocked and I don't know what to make out of this besides that I am very very very hurt  and yes I have been crying since then!!!  How does a jewish person especially one in chinuch say that to a student?! She got upset because we were all cranky in her class and we were talking but, first of all why me over everyone else I don't understand second everyone was talking and im serious everyone was either u say something to everyone or no one!!! she started yelling at me after class I was so taken aback im not exaggerating she yelled and screamed and I was so hurt I said as she walked out the door in middle of our convo that "I don't appreciate being yelled at or  hurt" she ignored me!! I don't know what to make out of this incident please help me understand im shocked and hurt!!! Besides the point she went to tell principal on me and they don't like me so they'll be causing me problems I seriously don't have the strength for this!!

 

Rabbi Schapiro what are your thoughts on this? Besides the point that in class she yelled and embarrassed me but what she said to  me after class!!! I  really feel like taking her to beis din and getting her out of this job I am really hurt!!

[taon]

IS the teacher normally like this? Did something happened? That's really a terrible thing to do. What did the principal do?

[Morgenstern]

Your teacher sounds like a yenta to me. Give her no heed. 

[Struggling teen]

She's been very nasty to me for the past 2 weeks always picking on me embrassing me etc. the principals don't know about it from me bec they don't like me and If I tell them they wont believe me and I don't know if the principal knows from her. but, teachers tell me things all the time it really kills me and I always say excuse me thts very hurtful and you don't say that to  a student no matter what for example 2 years ago a teacher compared me to a criminal and last  year a RABBI  told me im not gna get anywhere in life im not gna get married im gona go OTD he treated me also awfully him I was so mad at bec ur a rabbi wht the hell?! I said to him AND YOU CALL YOUR SELF A RABBI?!?! TO ALL OF US YOUR A LOOSER! and I walked out bec besides that he told me that he kicked me out tht day and when I left he gave my whole class a lesson about not to turn out like me ill be OTD etc I was like wht the hell?! and trust me compared to some girls in my class im extremely yeshivish (but not anymore I let go of  a lot of things bec teachers ppl in chinuch hav been telling me such awful stuff I told the principal last yr after something she did to me bec they never believe me and they give me a hard time eetc tht it will be on her one day if I do leave judiasm and/or I have a heart attack or stroke from all this  bec ive become physicly ill sometime and I hav no strength for anything anymore there killing me) hopefully this explains me some. one more thing wht they complain abt is I talk in class im like chill so many others talk and u don't say anything like get a life (I don't say tht but..)

[taon]

HAve other students in your class had similar experiences? In other classes with these teachers? I would suggest try say something to the principal or you parents. Maybe you can request a different teacher. Have you ever discussed (calmly if possible in this situation) with the teachers about what they say? I am not sure what they are thinking, saying such things. If you're really having such a hard time, maybe another school would be better. but switching schools is difficult.

Also, do you have this teacher at the end of the day? that wouldnt excuse it, i just want to understand better.

[Struggling teen]

1) closer to end of last year when this rabbi said it to me he ddnt realize there was another rabbi in the room so I had proof plus my parents only believed me once they saw and experienced wht happened so I ddnt take his class at end of yr and don't hav him this yr thank god!
2) this other teacher she yells yes we do hav her at end of day but u know something first of all that's not excuse second she doesn't teach the whole day...and I don't know wht she tells other girls in private but in general she has her rly nasty mood but wht she said to me.....is not ok....

3) my principals and parents don't believe me I go thru so much with what im told I cry to the principals and I actually said last year thru my tears "do you know wht ur doing to a jewish neshamah your breaking and destroying one imagine I am someone you care about and love what would you say if they told u this....don't treat me like a animal"!! they could care less!!!!!!!!!!!

4) and when teachers say it to me yes I do notify them of what there saying and that there in chinuch- sometimes I say it rly mad and sometimes I say it thru hurt.....

5) why should I think another skwl will b better? maybe public school will bec no teacher in public skwl will get away with saying this to a student! im shocked like why am I jewish these are my people in chinuch why am I here why should I stay jewish!!

[Struggling teen]

someone please help!

[taon]

Ive been trying to research this topic. I dont really know where to look. ALl i kow is, if you get more people to back you up, you can get more done.

[taon]

maybe you can get a recording as proof

[Struggling teen]

Whenever I have people as proof they could care less they yell at me etc. and I was thinking about recording but if I record they will yell at me that I recorded etc yeh I can say I did so you will have proof they'll prob say bec recorded I acted diff etc plus I don't know when such a thing is going to happen and I don't have time to get recorder and press it I cant be like wait pause stop saying tht nasty thing say it in one second...

[Struggling teen]

I just can tdeal with it anymore!

[taon]

enough people coming should convince the principal. i'd think. What do the other students say about these teachers? It seems that people in similar situations used recording to catch the teacher. you could have it playing all class until they say something, the stop it, or record what time on the tape it happened. or turn it on and say something that'll start them up. if you need help getting a recording device email frumteens1 at yahoo and i might be able to help. is there a trustworthy  school guidance counselor yo can talk to?

[Struggling teen]

they push the people who I bring to convince them away.........

 

so I happen to be a picked on student so for me I feel more hatred to them but yes a lot of people look at them as nasty and disgusting

 

what type of a recorder? I don't know I wanted to but after thinking about it and realizing that they push away people who will convince them I thonk they will kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also I cant in every class of tht teacher walk around with a recorder its a little crazyh this whole situation is nuts!

 

nope and I wouldn't feel com even if there was one bec she will report everything to principals and stick up for the school I don't trust such people

[Struggling teen]

School just started I need some "pick-me-up" and "chizuk" before another looooooooong year...

 

Thanks in advance!

[Morgenstern]

Struggling teen, I think you are an incredible person. You go through all of these tzaros and you have all of these Jews who are messed up to you but you still come on Jewswithquestions because you want answers. Im beg you to stay strong, keep the faith, believe in the 13 ikkarim and Gedolei Yisroel.

Do any other guys feel suicidal when they contemplate on how they will never go on a shidduch date with S.T.? I know I have that feel.

[Punims]

Is suicidal really the word you want to use?

[taon]

One good thing about school is how everythign moves around and changes all the time. Your situation can change at any time. Try, if you can, to find one thing or even person in the school you want to improve or help or protect. That thing will be your focus point, whatever happens. Is this too vague? I'm not entirely sure what exactly I'm referring to. But do you have any ideas?

[Struggling teen]

light pollution- thank you for your "highly" thoughts on me but im not incredible and im losing my "energy" day by day to continue life like this...I just cant do it I cant bear to live one more day of pain and hurt my heart forget about emotionally but physically cant take It anymore!

 

taon- I thought I had someone like that and I just realized a few days ago that she doesn't think the same about our "relationship" like I do..we used to have a better and stronger relationship and I could tell her everything but last week I realized not...

 

I don't mean to keep complaining and I might even be annoying im just turning here as my last hope of living...

[taon]

Doesn't have to be a person, just a cause or anything. Are you sure you cant talk tot his person? Could it have been a bad day, or bad topic?

[Struggling teen]

What do you mean doesnt have to be a person just a cause or anything?

 

I thought so too but no shes an amazing person never having a bad day (or doesn't show it in person) friends with everyone etc but we used to be closer I don't know what happened but yeah that's that...