Jump to content


Know What You Need

  • Please log in to reply
No replies to this topic

#1 stars89



  • Members
  • 3 posts

Posted 09 April 2014 - 04:27 PM

For those in Shidduchim. Make sure you know what you want and need. People might tell you what you need and sometimes they are right. But it's up to you when deciding on someone to live with.
We are all unique with different capabilities. Some of us can accomplish a lot, some of us less, but 
we do what we can. We need to know our strengths and limits. For example, some people are able to work and take care of kids etc. Some want to work first, and then focus on just the kids and so on. It might seem ideal at first to both work and care for the kids so the guy can learn. And if you are able to do that, that's great.  But if it would be too much for you, and for some it is, then it would probably be best for both of you to have part time job, where he does both learning and work, and you do a some work and take care of the kids. Some opt for the parents to help them financially which is fine if the parents are willing and have enough. But if they want to retire, or they don't have enough, then you and your spouse have to do it. 
But we shouldn't give up a good Shidduch because the parents can't support us. Just find a way to do it on your own.  
We don't know what our strengths and limits are until we try it out. So do an experiment. 
If you are in high school, imagine that school is your job and your siblings are your kids.
You go to school, then come home and are tired. But you still have to take care of the kids. Plus, you have homework, (house work when married)
If you can do that, great. If it's too much, you know what you need, you and your spouse both working part time.