A Benefit of Forgiving
Posted 24 November 2011 - 12:25 PM
We want Hashem to give us things even though we don’t deserve them. So He looks at us and sees if we give people things even though they don’t deserve them. If we insist on taking what we deserve and giving others what they deserve, then Hashem says “No problem. You, too, will get what you deserve”.
But if the Master of the world can look down and say, “You know, this person, he doesn’t deserve what he wants. But you know, too, that he forgave his friend even though he didn’t deserve it. He gave someone something even though she didn’t have to. Even though it wasn’t fair to him. He gave this person his life back, kept him away from being punished. So you know what I am going to do? I am going to give so-and-so what he wants and I am not going to care whether he deserves it.”
(condensed from Meir Einei Chachamim, by the Gaon and Kodosh Rav Meir Yechiel Halevy, Ostrovtze Rebbe ZTL)
Posted 08 January 2012 - 12:52 AM
I know they are different people now, I know that they were 'kids' and one of them even asked for forgiveness and I granted it!
I was picked on for a while.
These are good people! I shouldn't even feel anything bad towards them or what happened, so long ago.
There are times when the pretty girls are the ones who get the attention and are the class heads in a sense...and they can do the picking just as much as anyone else...but what about the notion that I don't want to be the people who picked on me? I don't want to do what they did.....I don't even want to have my hair like theres and the funny thing is, I don't like getting dressed/hair styled pretty bc I don't want to be them..even more so, when I see someone looking pretty, hair styled..whatever, I get worried/find resentment towards them bc maybe they'll pick on me/maybe those girls will pick on me again (even though it's someone totally different). Additionally, a girl I am friendly with, nice girl etc, had her hair nice the other day, blowdried or whatever, and I was worried that she would be like them. She said that she herself, had been picked on or whatever, and I knew she is a nice girl.
I've moved forward a lot, better self esteem etc, but there's still work. I don't want them going to 'down under' (gehenum) bc i didn't forgive-but this is where I'm up to now.
Posted 16 January 2012 - 07:24 PM
Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:40 AM
What if the person hasn't even bothered to ask you for forgiveness yet you know you are extremely broken by what they have done to you...?