6 replies to this topic

[Rabbi Shapiro]

Sometimes, we want something from Hashem, and maybe we don’t always deserve that He should say yes. You know what He does in such a case? The Medrash says “Hashem Tzilchah”, “Hashem is your shadow”, meaning, Hashem will act toward you by imitating your own behavior. It’s so hard for us to really deserve what we ask from Hashem – who knows if we deserve what he gives us already? But there’s another way.

We want Hashem to give us things even though we don’t deserve them. So He looks at us and sees if we give people things even though they don’t deserve them. If we insist on taking what we deserve and giving others what they deserve, then Hashem says “No problem. You, too, will get what you deserve”.

But if the Master of the world can look down and say, “You know, this person, he doesn’t deserve what he wants. But you know, too, that he forgave his friend even though he didn’t deserve it. He gave someone something even though she didn’t have to. Even though it wasn’t fair to him. He gave this person his life back, kept him away from being punished. So you know what I am going to do? I am going to give so-and-so what he wants and I am not going to care whether he deserves it.”

(condensed from Meir Einei Chachamim, by the Gaon and Kodosh Rav Meir Yechiel Halevy, Ostrovtze Rebbe ZTL)

[smillingirl]

Why condensed? I want to see the whole I love this.

[Rabbi Shapiro]

Here it is.

The idea is, when we forgive others even though they don't deserve it, Hashem, MIdah Kneged Midah, forgives us even though we don't deserve it.

[smillingirl]

Thank you!

[sandythedog]

What do you do if you still have something harsh left in your heart from something someone did?

I know they are different people now, I know that they were 'kids' and one of them even asked for forgiveness and I granted it!

Yet...

I was picked on for a while.

These are good people! I shouldn't even feel anything bad towards them or what happened, so long ago.

But...I do...sometimes.

There are times when the pretty girls are the ones who get the attention and are the class heads in a sense...and they can do the picking just as much as anyone else...but what about the notion that I don't want to be the people who picked on me? I don't want to do what they did.....I don't even want to have my hair like theres and the funny thing is, I don't like getting dressed/hair styled pretty bc I don't want to be them..even more so, when I see someone looking pretty, hair styled..whatever, I get worried/find resentment towards them bc maybe they'll pick on me/maybe those girls will pick on me again (even though it's someone totally different). Additionally, a girl I am friendly with, nice girl etc, had her hair nice the other day, blowdried or whatever, and I was worried that she would be like them. She said that she herself, had been picked on or whatever, and I knew she is a nice girl.

I've moved forward a lot, better self esteem etc, but there's still work. I don't want them going to 'down under' (gehenum) bc i didn't forgive-but this is where I'm up to now.

[taon]

SO don.'t. not yet. First, think about how this affected you in a positive way. Get, and it is possible, a sort of positive feeling about it. That there was some good at it. And if you see these girls, try to notice just one or two things they have improved upon. And give it more time.

[luv2rebel]

" So you know what I am going to do? I am going to give so-and-so what he wants and I am not going to care whether he deserves it.”

What if the person hasn't even bothered to ask you for forgiveness yet you know you are extremely broken by what they have done to you...?