3 replies to this topic

[rocksdontfly]

if someone is unable to forgive someone at a certain time, are they still able to say the tiffila before shema that tells H' u forgive anyone who hurt u that day? would one b able to say it and have in mind they will work on forgiving the person who hurt them?

last yr by rosh hashana, I was having a hard time forgiving one of my teachers for the way they treated me. i didnt know what to do because i didnt want to be responsible for them getting punished or getting gihenum c"v. it was a very uncomfortable situation for me. i didnt know how to forgive my teacher because i still felt hurt. even though i knew they were srry, the pain was still there and very much alive. but then my brother told me something that rly gave me insight, and still helps me. he told me that when u grant someone michila, it just means that u forgive them for their wrong doing; u dont have to pretend that ur not hurt anymore. after u forgive them, u can still work on getting over and moving on from what happened.
this rly changed my whole view on michila.

[ilavHashem]

thank you for sharing that!!! i think that holding a grudge hurts your own happiness more than anyone else's.
did u talk to the teacher about it?

[rocksdontfly]

ya i wrote him/her a note ab the problem. i told the teacher that they hurt me and i was having trouble forgiving them. i told the teacher that i was writing this note so they are aware that they need to be more sensitive to students bc no one deserves the treatment i got. i said i was forgiving them so they dont go to gihenum.
after rosh hashana after the teacher read the note, he/she screamed at me that she had no idea wt i was talking ab and has no recolection being mean to me..how could i do this..bla bla.. basically i didnt really turn out so well. and now i have to forgive them for saying that. its weird holding a grudge is deffinatly hard but its hard to move on...thank gd im kinda over it.

[ilavHashem]

if wat ur telling me is true, then the teacher has some issues to work out...im soo happy ur moving on! (change urself...not others! ! )