Posted 15 January 2012 - 10:30 AM
Posted 27 January 2012 - 01:21 AM
Even if you have no romantic feelings for him, you have no idea what's going on on his side. He may deny it but he probably does like you. If he's texting you so often and complimenting you, you probably mean a lot to him and he may think very differently than you about this whole relationship.
I understand he's the only one that's there for you and he's a wonderful friend, but Hashem made guys and girls differently. It's impossible to just be friends, even though you both say that on the outside. Do you REALLY just like him as a friend? If you are a healthy female, this shouldn't be the case. It's just how Hashem made us, so that we can help populate the world - we're just attracted to each other. One of the reasons you may be going to him more than your girl friends is because of the attraction, and the excitement that comes with the friendship. Trust me, as a woman I totally get you.
Posted 27 January 2012 - 02:03 AM
I hate to see when people get into little bits of trouble and...then have no clue how to get out (been there probably lol). If need be, start stepping back. There was a boy aquantenence I knew and we needed to get our space and not be involved the way we were (we knew each other from a thing but we were too close and we weren't for each other-something i realized later on thanks to Hashem). So, if he would call, maybe I'd pick up BUT I wouldn't call him. It was a start. In the end, I'd keep the conversations short (bc guys shouldn't be overly chatting with girls-tachlus, like dating or shadchanus is one thing..chatting is another). Eventually, we stopped talking via phone when he had other people to talk to. Start small BUT think big
Good luck and you'll do fine!
Posted 29 January 2012 - 04:20 PM
ok so maybe I like him a little bit :/ but every time I start to feel warm n safe I remind myself nothing is going to happen n hes just my friend...
do I have to stop talking to him? honestly I dont rly want to
I know how hard it is. Reminding yourself that nothing is going to happen though... is not really true. Things can happen - even when you know 100% that they won't. You will feel so proud of yourself when you take the first step towards ending this. It'll hurt for sure - but in the long run - it's really helping to take care of yourself. We're all here for you - us females that is;)
Posted 20 February 2012 - 12:48 AM
You just need to keep busy with things that interest you, that'll help you not dwell on the missing him part. We're always here for you, you can come online and spill all your frustrations out on here.
Posted 23 February 2012 - 11:36 PM
1) Clarify who is ending it.
2) Have a specific plan for the following occassions- seeing him at your family gatherings, seeing him in social situations. Negotiate if necessary.
3) REFUSE THE "LETS BE JUST FRIENDS" OFFER. If it's insincere, it usually means nothing. If it's sincere, it usually means that A is still in love with B, and B is still tolerating them out of pity. Once 2 people get involved beyond a certain point, it's all or nothing. This will save you both a lot of time and bad feelings.
4) Since you're splitting for religious reasons, you can explain-briefly- the real reason for the dumping. (Don't expect that they'll feel better now that they know that. In most situations, just leave this step out.)
5) Don't do the "gradual split" thing. It won't help you adapt. There is no such thing as "75% broken up." You're either in a relationship or you're not. Dragging it out is kind of like removing a splinter a smidgen of a bit every day- it hurts more in the long run.
Posted 19 March 2012 - 08:43 PM
First of all, thats brilliant, so thank u!
Wait, so what did you tell him exactly? and what was the point of him telling you that? also, its not about who he likes or whatever, its about you and the boundaries you need to create. Like the not texting on the phone and stuff like that.
we were just talking ab random things so I told him how bad I feel ab this stupid loser guy I used to like 100 yrs ago n he told me ab this girl he used to b rly close with n he still has feelings for.