5 replies to this topic

[chocolatemilk]

I am in 12th grade in a school where 97% (this is not an exaggeration) go to Israel for the year after graduating. The last 3% are usually rather strange and usually of the more modern crowd. I have always expected to go to seminary and been excited for it, with my parents' encouragement.
I have already applied to 3 seminaries. All three seem good and i think i would be fairly happy in any of them. Yet i still cannot decide whether i should go or not. Is it worth the money?
My parents think i should go and are willing to pay, yet they are clearly stressed and unsure how they will pull it off. However, though I is seem to be the only girl worrying about money, I am telling you that we are far from the poorest family. We do not "struggle for money". Both my parents have good jobs and are making plenty. Rather, they are the type of people who spend a lot of time analyzing and keeping track of their finances, making sure NEVER to go beyond their means. Not the "swipe your card and deal with it later" kind.I do not believe the struggle for the money is any harder for them than anyone else, but they are the only ones who pay enough attention to their finances to care.
Next i want to tell you who i am. I am an EXTREMELY deep thinker and have a millions questions on everything in Yiddiskeit. I am also very much in search for my own personal derech and am always thinking "what is this all leading up to." I am certainly not the type of girl who'll just fluff through seminary. My goal is seminary is to come out being frum cuz I AM and i want to be and i love yiddiket, not just cuz my parents are frum. I am told that the three places I applied should cater to these needs. Additionally i have gone to camp for many years and loved that type of environment.
THough i loved my high school, i was not very satisifed with my level of learning. I never was really satsified with the answers by teachers gave to my questions and felt that are textual learning was not very deep. (the focus was on translation of psukim and mefarshim not depth). I hear all day that yiddishketit is deep and fullfilling yet my expsure but i never have learned on a levell that i thought was deep.
So either 1 of 2 things:
Either something is wrong with me and i will neveer be satisfied with the answers im given or the depth of my learning. I am wondering. How will seminary learning be different? (And if it is different, WHY do they not teach that way in high school)
Or else seminary is VITAL for me. Perhaps it is there that i will find the depth and love of yiddishketi and an understanding of what exactly im supposed to be doing with my life that i have been seeking for so long. And if i do not go then i will never know if that may have been the place where i could have gotton my answers. As my mother says "If im gonna find the answers, that would be the place." Though i know that if i said i did not want to go, she'd breath a sigh of relief about having to pay the money.
So bottom line is:
It'd probably benefit me, at least a little. But would it be enough to be worth my parents working so hard to pay the money (thoug like i said, its not any harder for them than any other parents, they are just more into the money saving thing.)
Also recently i have been talking to many girls who have been in seminary recently. Most girls when asked if they liked seminary, rave about how AMAZING it was and how they WANT TO GO BACK!!! But it seems like the girls who I am actually getting into a deeper conversation with reveal that it was really a hard experience in some ways and that it is very overrated. I asked a girl my question. “Is it worth it?” She thought about it and answered me “i guess so, I made great friends but it was really hard”. I was talking about was it worth the money and she had not even factored that in. She was just balancing the pros and cons (being away, foreign country, no privacy, figureing out shobbasim)of her experience, to tell if the cons were worth the pros. I asked her if she feels the learning helped her. She said maybe her skills are better, but doesnt seem to have enjoyed it. She said she grew from the experience just because of the hardships she had to overcome. This concerned me a lot because she wasnt sure if sem was worth it and she hadnt even THOUGHT about the money which is my biggest concern. I always thought sem was amazing but was it amazing enough for the cost? Now I see even without considereing money, it may not even be a good experience. Though, as my mother asked me, if I would be able to go to sem for free, I would have little concern in going.

I do not want to make my paretns pay if it will not be amazing and a ton of learning and growth. I am tryin to make an informed decision istead of just going because everyone is. But how will I know beforehand if it will be the right thing? And if I don't go, I will always wonder “what would have been?”

[GotEmunah?]

I am in 12th grade in a school where 97% (this is not an exaggeration) go to Israel for the year after graduating. The last 3% are usually rather strange and usually of the more modern crowd. I have always expected to go to seminary and been excited for it, with my parents' encouragement.
I have already applied to 3 seminaries. All three seem good and i think i would be fairly happy in any of them. Yet i still cannot decide whether i should go or not. Is it worth the money?
My parents think i should go and are willing to pay, yet they are clearly stressed and unsure how they will pull it off. However, though I is seem to be the only girl worrying about money, I am telling you that we are far from the poorest family. We do not "struggle for money". Both my parents have good jobs and are making plenty. Rather, they are the type of people who spend a lot of time analyzing and keeping track of their finances, making sure NEVER to go beyond their means. Not the "swipe your card and deal with it later" kind.I do not believe the struggle for the money is any harder for them than anyone else, but they are the only ones who pay enough attention to their finances to care.
Next i want to tell you who i am. I am an EXTREMELY deep thinker and have a millions questions on everything in Yiddiskeit. I am also very much in search for my own personal derech and am always thinking "what is this all leading up to." I am certainly not the type of girl who'll just fluff through seminary. My goal is seminary is to come out being frum cuz I AM and i want to be and i love yiddiket, not just cuz my parents are frum. I am told that the three places I applied should cater to these needs. Additionally i have gone to camp for many years and loved that type of environment.
THough i loved my high school, i was not very satisifed with my level of learning. I never was really satsified with the answers by teachers gave to my questions and felt that are textual learning was not very deep. (the focus was on translation of psukim and mefarshim not depth). I hear all day that yiddishketit is deep and fullfilling yet my expsure but i never have learned on a levell that i thought was deep.
So either 1 of 2 things:
Either something is wrong with me and i will neveer be satisfied with the answers im given or the depth of my learning. I am wondering. How will seminary learning be different? (And if it is different, WHY do they not teach that way in high school)
Or else seminary is VITAL for me. Perhaps it is there that i will find the depth and love of yiddishketi and an understanding of what exactly im supposed to be doing with my life that i have been seeking for so long. And if i do not go then i will never know if that may have been the place where i could have gotton my answers. As my mother says "If im gonna find the answers, that would be the place." Though i know that if i said i did not want to go, she'd breath a sigh of relief about having to pay the money.
So bottom line is:
It'd probably benefit me, at least a little. But would it be enough to be worth my parents working so hard to pay the money (thoug like i said, its not any harder for them than any other parents, they are just more into the money saving thing.)
Also recently i have been talking to many girls who have been in seminary recently. Most girls when asked if they liked seminary, rave about how AMAZING it was and how they WANT TO GO BACK!!! But it seems like the girls who I am actually getting into a deeper conversation with reveal that it was really a hard experience in some ways and that it is very overrated. I asked a girl my question. “Is it worth it?” She thought about it and answered me “i guess so, I made great friends but it was really hard”. I was talking about was it worth the money and she had not even factored that in. She was just balancing the pros and cons (being away, foreign country, no privacy, figureing out shobbasim)of her experience, to tell if the cons were worth the pros. I asked her if she feels the learning helped her. She said maybe her skills are better, but doesnt seem to have enjoyed it. She said she grew from the experience just because of the hardships she had to overcome. This concerned me a lot because she wasnt sure if sem was worth it and she hadnt even THOUGHT about the money which is my biggest concern. I always thought sem was amazing but was it amazing enough for the cost? Now I see even without considereing money, it may not even be a good experience. Though, as my mother asked me, if I would be able to go to sem for free, I would have little concern in going.

I do not want to make my paretns pay if it will not be amazing and a ton of learning and growth. I am tryin to make an informed decision istead of just going because everyone is. But how will I know beforehand if it will be the right thing? And if I don't go, I will always wonder “what would have been?”

Ok, just my own personal 2 cents - from what you are staying, I think that you definately go to seminary. I think that you are the kind of person that will get the best out of it - soaking it all in.
I went for 2 years (totally not the type and didn't think I would) and I think that yes, its hard but its part of the growth. Growth is not easy. Its not suposed to be, and its not gonna be. Yeh, Shabbosim are hard to find - but that was still my favorite part of the year!!! My Emuna and Bitachon grew so much more from that than from a classroom setting. (Hashem, You know where I will be for Shabbos, please open my eyes to it and make it great!) Being in a dorm and away from home, has you working on different Middos than you have ever worked on before! You aren't home, so you can view things so much more objectively. Also, so much of seminary is learning yourself and doing things that you aren't used to - thats real growth. Stepping out of your comfort zone!

The way you're year works out, and how much you gain is almost totally up to you. Its what you put into it. You can make it a year that will set the cornerstone for your marrige and the way you view life (I don't like that people say its the "best year of your life" - its should be the "year that sets you up to have the best life" I know that sounds so totally cliche, but it true. It should be a year of growth, finding yourself and where you are headed.)

It might not be the best experience, but you will grow from it. Don't go to have the BEST experience, go to grow. From the way you described yourself, I think that you are going to have a great year if you - and you should go!!! It sounds like you take life seriously, you want to grow, learn and know, and that you will have an amazing year!!! Hatzlocha!!!

[Punims]

In my opinion, it is worth it.

Two thoughts came up as I was reading your post.
1. You cannot expect to go and have the best time of your life. That's having false hopes and you may be shocked by the hardships of living in Israel. But that doesn't mean it's not worth it. The hardships come from picking yourself up from your comfortable life and moving away from everything you've known to a country where almost EVERYTHING is different. That's what's hard.
Is it worth the money? Yes. Just because something is hard to deal with, does not mean you shouldn't try it out. It's the best experience ever.
2. You should not be in a seminary that is just going to give you the same type of learning that you got in highschool. That's what your friends mean by 'eh, the work was just harder'. I went to Neve Yerushalayim. There are many different levels and types of learning there. Whenever I felt that the learning was too textual and dry, I switched levels. You may even benefit from going to Mechina. That's the level in Neve for new baal teshuvas, fresh off the street!

You sound like someone who would benefit ALOT from being there and drinking in the knowledge and life of the wonderful teachers in Israel. You are not like your friends, I'm positive you'll come out at the end of it saying "YES THAT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT". It's nothing like you've ever experienced before and that's why you're so hesitant. Was camp worth the money for you?

[swim-like-a-fish]

chocolatemilk--
if you have picked the right seminary, and if you go in with the proper mindset, and if you put forth effort your throughout your year to gain and achieve your goals, then the seminary year has potential to be one of the most important years in your life. i personally feel that seminary is worth every penny: for those who invest in it.. going in expecting to be "given" each bit of inspiration, chizuk, fun etc does not necessarily yield results. if, as you say, you are the questioning type, and you have specific reason for wanting to go, then you will make sure to get the answers you need! seek out guidance, learn and grow about life, about yourself. no one said sem is an easy year, but it is very very worth for the kinds of things you walk away with at the end.

i also think you need to separate the issue of finances with the rest of what sem has to offer. if you decide to put for the money, it should be regardless of what others gauge as "worth it". if you decide that it is too expensive, then that is regardless of everyone else's experience! basically, no one else can assess how much you will like sem or how important it will be for you--if you have the resources available to you, then its worth it. there is no experience in the world quite like seminary--in a good way--and i also went for 2 years, not planned at all, just kind of happened-- but i will say again--what you put in is what you get out. take advantage of everything your seminary has to offer, and seek out every opportunity.

can i ask which sems you applied to?

[honeydew :)]

Hi Chocolatemilk.
When I read your post, I was like, whoa, how does she know so much abt me?!?! but seriously, the way you've described urself an how ur feeling, i feel the same way...don' worry were in it 2gether
So what did u decide - Are you going to seminary in the end?

honeydew (:

[surviver2]

i went to seminary to run away
but as im here i cant tell you what i diffrence it made to me if your a deep thinker and high school dint answer your questions i think sem is almost a necceity