help with getting along with my father
Posted 12 February 2012 - 10:10 PM
for starters our personalities just completely clash, he also isnt completely 100%- he doesnt rly keep shabbos and Kosher so much anymore, hes a major workaholic and never does anything with my family and travels a lot for work, and then when he is home and paying attention to life around him hes obnoxious and mean. he is majorly verbally abusive to everyone in my house and tries to boss us all around like he knows how our house is run (which he rly does not at all). when i or my mother try to talk to him about this he just shuts down and goes to do more work and not keep torah and mitzvos even more and he just get grumpier and meaner as the years go on. im just fed up to the point where i dont want to have anything to do with him and i even stopped inviting ppl to my house bec im so embarrassed by him. wht should i do?
(sry its so long)
Posted 26 February 2012 - 11:13 PM
All I can do is offer you chizuk and say kibbud av vaem is one of the hardest mitzvos in the Torah, and you are not alone in struggling in this area.
Posted 27 February 2012 - 08:07 PM
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You arent going to change your father. At the end, its really up to him if he keeps torah and mitzvos and if he'll change. For kibbud av va'em, I dont know what the halacha is, but I dont think it is healthy for you at this point in time to try working on your relationship with your father (by that I mean trying to do things he'd want you to do), because it's very possible it will harm you more.
I think you should love and fear your parents, appreciate that they brought you into the world, etc, but I dont think your kibbud av va'em should go any further than that for your father. I'm not sure though because I dont know the halacha, maybe a moderater can answer?
Always remember, you arent the only one going through this, and you're very strong for Hashem to give you such a huge nisayon. And Hashem is always with you cheering for you! I wish you tonz of hatzlacha.
Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:59 PM
flybird - see here.
Superjew - Maybe it would be a good idea to invite people to your house. Maybe your father would at least behave in front of guests? Would he?
do you mean for like the meals or for my friends to sleep over
if the first we do invite people over and i does help a little if the second im too afraid to invite friends into a home that im scared to be in in the first place. im scared of what they will think of me once they see my disfunctional family