I know someone who has a lot of goyim friends. "frum" girl. she says that "yeah were better than the goyim but my friends are good ppl and why should i not be able to be friends with them just cuz theyre not jewish? they happen to be very good moral ppl and i was having a whole discussion with them and they were saying how they like and respect jewish ppl and then we tell them we cant be friends with them? its so wrong and racist ...blablabla....." how to respond to this? show its not "racist" not to be friends with goyim and what to respond to goyim when they ask why we cant be friends with them? how is this right and fair? please answer!!!!!!!!
friends with goyim
Started by
LL3
, Feb 13 2012 03:09 PM
3 replies to this topic
#2
Rabbi Shapiro
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Posted 19 February 2012 - 03:11 PM
They can respect Jewish people and all that, but friends influence each other. And because their values and ideas are so very different than those which Judaism permits us to have, and their activities are so very different from those that you are permitted to engage in, the natural influence that friends have on each other can be quite detrimental. (And the fact that they are respectful of your religion makes them more influential as friends, not less. If they'd be Anti-semites, you'd be less likely to learn from them). Therefore you should avoid such friendships.I know someone who has a lot of goyim friends. "frum" girl. she says that "yeah were better than the goyim but my friends are good ppl and why should i not be able to be friends with them just cuz theyre not jewish? they happen to be very good moral ppl and i was having a whole discussion with them and they were saying how they like and respect jewish ppl and then we tell them we cant be friends with them? its so wrong and racist ...blablabla....." how to respond to this? show its not "racist" not to be friends with goyim and what to respond to goyim when they ask why we cant be friends with them? how is this right and fair? please answer!!!!!!!!
#3
much2learn
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Posted 27 February 2012 - 09:45 PM
So Rabbi, how do you feel about secular Jews and frum Jews being close?
As a recent BT, about 85% of my friends are secular, because most of my life was spent in secular Jewish culture... I didn't really have a choice. does the same theory apply here?
As a recent BT, about 85% of my friends are secular, because most of my life was spent in secular Jewish culture... I didn't really have a choice. does the same theory apply here?
#4
Rabbi Shapiro
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Posted 11 March 2012 - 02:48 PM
So Rabbi, how do you feel about secular Jews and frum Jews being close?
As a recent BT, about 85% of my friends are secular, because most of my life was spent in secular Jewish culture... I didn't really have a choice. does the same theory apply here?
Friends influence each other - thats the principle. If you have so many friends whose activities, values, and beliefs are so normal to them but so prohibited to you, it is a danger; and if the way they have fun and enjoy themselves is prohibited to you, it is a danger. If they as friends present to you, as friends do, opportunities and requests to join them in their activities which are so prohibited to you, it is a danger.
So the answer is yes. The same thing applies. Now am I telling you to just dump all your friends in one fell swoop? No, because that is not realistic. But if someone is realistically in a precarious position, I would tell them that in order to make them aware of it and therefore be cautious about it. I wouldn't advise anybody to travel an icy road, but if they must, I would tell them how icy it is in order for them to be careful.
So just be careful. And if G-d forbid you do get into a skid and need help steering out of it, let us know. We'll be there.
(see also here).
