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#1 rocksdontfly

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Posted 15 March 2012 - 11:08 AM

Ive always had a problem with self confidence. I'm just curious, is it possible for someone to always feel good about themselves? Because sometimes I will be feeling okay but then I'll see someone who can do something I worked hard to do, do it better than me, or I made a bad decision. Yno, life. So how can someone always feel good about themselves when life is always - well happening?

#2 Punims

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Posted 19 March 2012 - 12:19 AM

Nobody ALWAYS feels good about themselves - that would be called gaavah! And even haughty people feel yucky inside. The key is to feeling regret about a bad decision is to try to trust that whatever happened was meant to happen. At the moment that you had to make the choice, you did your best. But once it's over - that's it - relax, Hashem will take care of the rest. Even if it looks like you ruined everything.

About someone doing something better than you... they're just a different person. Different people can do things differently - it doesn't necessarily mean better. I'm sure you do things "better" than that person too. You are not always going to be the best in everything - but it's okay - you are trying and everyone loves you for who you are. People who are always trying to be the best, end up miserable. (I'm talking from experience!)

Self confidence goes up and down but the more you work on it, the more ups you'll have. No one has constant ups though. (And if you think you do, write to us and tell us how to do it!)

#3 danceInTheRain

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Posted 19 March 2012 - 01:00 PM

Nobody ALWAYS feels good about themselves - that would be called gaavah! And even haughty people feel yucky inside. The key is to feeling regret about a bad decision is to try to trust that whatever happened was meant to happen. At the moment that you had to make the choice, you did your best. But once it's over - that's it - relax, Hashem will take care of the rest. Even if it looks like you ruined everything.

talk to yourself and tell yourself what lesson you have learnt from the mistake you made and try to find a way to not make it again and once you did that you did the best you can. so dont feel bad!

#4 LL3

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 11:54 AM

sorry punims i disagree. i think someone CAN always feel good about themselves if they work on it. of course there will be ups and downs til they get there but it is possible if u work on it

#5 surviver2

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Posted 23 March 2012 - 01:01 AM

[

Nobody ALWAYS feels good about themselves - that would be called gaavah!



thats not gayva becouse somone with complete anava would always feel good about themselves cuz true anava is knowing all your strong points and weak point and realize they all come from hashem and to help you with your mission someone who knows that 100% would always feel good
but i havent met or heard of a person with a strong level of emuna
in fact ther aer seforim bring out that low self esteem comes from gayva

#6 shifpifer1

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 05:55 PM

Also, (to add on) if someone is truly humble and has self esteem and loves themselves, they wont feel the need to compare themselves or compete with somebody else. They will love other people like they love themselves and know that not everyone is perfect, then they won't have to compare themselves to others. There is no better or worse person because everyone is different and has their own Chelek and Nisionos to work on.