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Vort/aufruf/shabbos Kallah

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#1 shifpifer1



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Posted 25 June 2012 - 08:34 PM

what are the sources for various engagement minhagim such as a vort, aufruf and shabbos kallah?
also is there anything goyishe with having a bridal shower?

#2 Rabbi Shapiro

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Posted 05 August 2012 - 07:21 PM

A vort is not a real Minhag. It's just something people do on their own. It's an engagement party, that's all. I assume it started because people used to make Tenayim shortly after they got engaged - like Chasidim and many people in Eretz Yisroel still do today. They had a celebration at the Tenayim. When people stopped making Tenayim after the engagement but instead at the Chasana, they kept the celebration. That's the vort.

The אויפרוף and what is called today the "Shabbos Kallah" are real Minhagim. The Choson is obligated Halachicly to get an Aliyah on the Shabbos before the Chasana. The MInhag that his friends dance him to Shul that morning is in Chazal. The reason the Choson gets an Aliyah is to show that he is about to embark on a new level of Torah learning, because when a person gets married, he obtains many new levels (כל השרוי בלא אשה שרוי בלא תורה). There are other reasons given as well.

There are many reasons given for the throwing of bags of candy. One is to remind the Choson, who is then standing right before the Sefer Torah, that so long as he remains with the Torah, sweet things will come to him.

The "Shabbos Kallah" is a Minhag brought down in various Seforim. The women in the neighborhood are supposed to go to the Kallah that Shabbos and be משמח her.

There is also a Minhag that they do the same for the Chosson that Shabbos afternoon. This they call the פאר שפיל.

The reason we do these things on the Shabbos before the Chasana is because every week's blessings are determined on the Shabbos before that week (ההוא יומא מתברכין מיניה כל ו' יומין עילאין).

The bridal shower has nothing to do with Judaism and is a secular contrivance.