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Good Music But Wrong Intentions?

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#1 SmileySimcha123



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Posted 19 September 2012 - 03:28 PM

Within the past year or two, I've been listening to only jewish music. I really enjoy religious Israeli artists, but I've been noticing that a large amount of the artist's fans ( the artists are boys, by the way) are girls. And many if not all of the girls are only at their concerts because of their looks. I too, have been finding myself listening with the wrong motives. Is it wrong to listen to this perticiular person, even if I really really do like his music? Is it wrong to think this person is handsome? Thanks so much and shana tova (:

#2 Rabbi Shapiro

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Posted 24 January 2013 - 07:34 AM

Women are not Halachicly required to refrain from Histaklus (gazing) at men. But they are required to refrain from Hirhurim about men. So if we're talking about just Hastaklus and nothing more it is not Halahcicly prohibited.


However, that does not mean it is a good thing to do. There are Halachos and there are Midos. Both are important for success as a Ben Torah. This type of thing is an imperfection in the Midah of Tznius, even if not a Halachic violation, because the Midah of Tznius means that any activity that involves male-female attraction should remain private and in its proper context.


That said, the question now becomes: Is this something that is important for you at this point in your life? See what I wrote here. I don't know where you are holding with your spiritual to-do list. We have to walk before we can run, and I don't know whether right now in your life you are walking, running, jogging, or stationary, so I couldn't tell you whether striving for such a thing is what you should be doing or whether it is unrealistic. That depends on who you are and where you're holding. You'll have to fill in those blanks.


So don't break your head over this, but what I would suggest is that even if you still end up listening to the music, at least don't talk about how handsome these singers are with your friends. The more deprivatized  your appreciation for these fellows' looks is, the more a breach you have committed in the Midah of Tznius.