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#1 TruthSeeker



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Posted 04 October 2012 - 10:42 PM

I'm not really sure how to phrase this exactly but I'll try. Lets just say my family is EXTREMELY difficult to deal with and being with them all together is a nightmare therefore I have come to HATE yomtov/shobbos and things are supposed to be beautiful just because my family ruins it . I absolutely dread succos and pesach just cuz it means 3 weeks straight with my fam. If Hashem wanted me to love doing his Mitzvos and celebrate yomtov then why wud He make me hate it so much? Ppl are attracted to Judaism when they see a beautiful shobbos table and the like - but what if I don't have that? To me all these " beautiful" things are dreaded and hated - what to do?

#2 ilavHashem



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Posted 11 October 2012 - 07:02 PM

woah you sound just like someone i know, i hope someone has an answer for this, because ive been trying to give her one that will really help.
idk the answer, and i keep rereading the question hoping it will come to me
honestly the only thing i keep thinking is,
don't miss out on it all
your family may be a hard to deal with
and as much as this is family time
its so much more so Hashem's time
if you know what i mean
make it beautifull in your own way
if it's saying kabbalos shabbos,
or dressing up for kiddush even though everyone else is in pajamas (in my friends case idk bout u)
do something little or big, anything,
just make it holy for yourself
yomtov and shabbosim are beautiful times, but they are also days for Hashem, don't make the mistake of missing out
i wish you luck

#3 taon



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Posted 22 October 2012 - 05:18 PM

If it'snot too upsetting, try a Sefer like Shabbos Secrets by Rav David Meisels (A Yeshiva has sent out mailings with excerpts) and learn it over shabbos/YT, if possible at the table. And take mental notes, for when you BiEzras Hashem have your own beautiful Shabbos table.
IS there any Shabbaton or Yom Tov program you can join where you spend it in another community?