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Wanting To Be Free Feeling The Enjoyment Of Ruchniyus

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#1 AYidOnTheWayUp



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Posted 09 October 2012 - 08:54 PM

I would like to khow to get past the idea that Hashem is "infringing" on my "freedom" and how to really indentify with the concept that "Ain Ben Chorin Ela Mi She'Osek Ba'Torah?" Its so much easier to do what we want and not have to do all this "stuff" how does one develop a cheishek for it and stop feeling so forced and like its drudgery? I think a large part of my question entails coming to feel "ahavas Hashem" to feel that ahava and get a geshmak for serving Hashem as well as simcha while doing mitzvos. I find both very difficult and I dont know where to begin or what to learn to get these middos.

#2 Rabbi Shapiro

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Posted 15 October 2012 - 08:54 PM

Attaining Ahavas Hashem is a lifetime career. But for now, you need to start with the basics.

There is no "magic wand" answer that will change your feelings overnight. You need to realize - then internalize - certain truths. Namely, that doing Mitzvos is a wise choice, not only because you are obligated to do them, but because of all you gain by doing them (not the least of which is immeasurable reward in Olam Habah). People work all day doing all sorts of labor, and they don't complain about it infringing on their "freedom" because they know that, at the end of the day (or week) they are going to get a paycheck, and that makes it a wise choice.

Same thing with Mitzvos. You need to increase your Emunah. Meaning, the clarity with which you know why you are here in this world, the benefits of doing Mitzvos and the disadvantage of doing Aveiros. If you looked at the time and effort you put in to doing a Mitzvah the same way that a businessman looks at the time and effort he puts in to closing a deal, you would not consider your work any more drudgery than he does his.

The second Midah you need to strengthen is Hakaras Hatov to Hashem for all he has given you. I'm talking about your breath, your eyes, your ears, everything that we take for granted. If you want to know the simplest level of Ahavas Hashem this is it - loving gratitude to Hashem for all he has bestowed upon us. And in order to do that, you need to focus on all you have been given by Hashem.

For both of the above, I highly recommend three books by Rav Avigdor Miller ZTL: Awake My Glory, Sing You Righteous and Rejoice O Youth - in that order. That's a start. But anything that increases Emunah will do wonders for you.

And be patient. The Yetzer Horah knows that Emunah and Hakaras Hatov to Hashem are the most important things in the world and so he works overtime to prevent them from happening (and even though he works hard, he never considers his job drudgery). We're talking about changing one's attitude, which takes time to attain, and then time to maintain.