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Must We Respond Immediately To Parents Requests?

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#1 AYidOnTheWayUp



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Posted 17 October 2012 - 01:24 PM

1. With regard to Kibbud AV Vaeim, if your parent asks you to do something that is not an immediate emergency must it be done "immediately?" Are you obligated to drop what you are doing and go do it right away? Or can you say I will do it later when I am free?

2. Must a child always listen to a parent? What if one has a parent who has a mishegass and is in the habit of asking for things they don't really need, or asks you to accompany them someplace where they don't need your help and it is really an inconvenience on you, must you always play along or can you say Im sorry you dont really need me I have things I must do now?

#2 Rabbi Shapiro

Rabbi Shapiro


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Posted 09 December 2012 - 03:34 PM

1. It depends. If the parent requests it be done immediately, such that delaying it would be disobeying the request, then yes, you need to do it right away. This is assuming that the insistence on the parents part of doing ti right away is not a "kepeida shel shtus" (see #2 below).


2. If the parent's request is a "kepeda she shtus," meaning, it does not benefit the parent, then there is no obligation of Kibud Av to obey.


However, you must be very careful regarding what you decide is a Kepeda shel shtus. This assessment is not subjective, meaning, you can't say "Well, I to me there does not seem any benefit in this request so I don't have to honor it." If there is a benefit to your parents and your assessment is wrong, you violated the Mitzvah. I would suggest not making this assessment on your own and first taking it over with your parents if possible.