2 replies to this topic

[LeahWine]

I was just reading a friend's wedding invitation and I got disgusted by the fact it explicitly calls her a Besula (virgin). Why do all frum Jews broadcarst that to the world? Why is that anyone's business but her's and her chassan's?

[Rabbi Shapiro]

Don't be disgusted - they don't mean it like that. It's the common way of saying that this is the Kallah's first wedding, which of course is a bigger Simcha than a Zivug Sheni wedding. It's not meant to disclose any biological information, and in fact, they will write Besulah as long as it is a first wedding, no matter what.. 

 

Similarly for the Kesuva. There, they announce to the world that the Kallah is בתולתא דא, but here, too, it is only for purposes of describing how much money the Chosson commits to the Kesuva, and so, there are Poskim who say that if the Kallah is not a בתולה, but it is the first marriage, they can write, and announce, בתולתא דא. As you say, it is nobody's business.

[danceInTheRain]

Don't forget that so many things that where holy for so many years are used today in a disgusting way. 

I find that these frum and pure people do not have the connotations as me/(perhaps you too). Its just very matter of fact to them.