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On Your Forthcoming Betrayal

off the derech writing marriage assimilation

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#1 taon

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Posted 01 December 2012 - 08:13 PM

This is to a cousin who is planning on marrying a completely assimilated Jew and moving to a nonjewish area. Should I give it to him?

 

Im sorry for not talking before.

Im not good at it and say the wrong things.

It's not right, in general, obviously, but i don't entirely blame you. We've seen how we were each raised. You weren't given much reason to feel otherwise, i don't think. Neither was she. I tried suggesting the old frumteens site, but i didnt think you'd be interested. So be carefl, and don't be a hypocrite. And if things work out, come back some time. Does she know where she wants to be heading? Do you?



#2 Menorah

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Posted 02 December 2012 - 10:07 AM

Is the cousin himself completely assimilated?



#3 taon

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 10:16 PM

Not entirely, I think he does keep some things, though there doesn't seem to be much backing it. Ethnic pride, perhaps (though he's pro-intermarriage). I don't know how much he cares, he does somewhat, but mostly shows it in secular ways, holocaust memorials and such.



#4 Soulrebel

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Posted 19 December 2012 - 02:28 PM

The fact that he's actually marrying a Jewish girl shows that he IS somewhat connected. Most non-Orthodox Jews marry out, and that's why those sects are trying to change- they realize that what they've been doing isn't working. I have relativels like you describe your cousin, and they all married Jews and are slightly more involved with religion now that they have kids compared to how they were before.

 

So I would try viewing this as a positive developement



#5 emoticon

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Posted 19 December 2012 - 04:52 PM

As long as Yidden are marrying Yidden... that is something to be grateful for. 

And their children have hope! At least the bloodstream of ישראל will not be further contaminated. 

Keep davening for them...



#6 taon

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Posted 24 December 2012 - 10:41 PM

He says it's only for his parents' sake, but still good. They are coming for Shabbos lunch. Any ideas?



#7 Rabbi Shapiro

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 07:08 AM

Don't bother saying anything. כשם שמצוה לומר דבר הנשמע כן מצוה שלא לומר דבר שאינו נשמע. Your obligation - and the best you can do at this point - is not to do anything that can be construed as a recognition or approval of what he is doing. Other than that, it is his (bad) choice, and you cannot do anything about it at this point in time.



#8 podeh

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Posted 12 February 2014 - 06:22 PM

They broke up, which is of course a good thing, but i feel bad he has to go through this. what should i do now?