This is something I encounter a lot in my pretty typical life of a frum girl. The guy in this scenario is usually about age 20-21, and its not the same guy over and over again, but different guys.
Guy: Soulrebel- do you have any girls you can set me up with?
Soulrebel: (sighs) (sarcastic tone here) Obviously. I am a master shadchan with LOADS of my friends just dying to set them up-
Guy: That's fabulous!
Soulrebel: -in about a year and a half
Guy: So you know of at least one girl who is theoretically willing to date me in the future but not now.
Soulrebel: Essentially, YES
Guy: I get that most of your friends are in Israel...but what about the ones that aren't?
Soulrebel: (trying to be patient) Guy, my friends aren't into this whole idea of dating for fun
Guy: But it's not for fun! I want to be serious with this girl who only hypothetically exists! I want to take her on dates, change my facebook relationship status, have her meet my friends and family- all that stuff! I'll even be shomer if she wants!
Soulrebel: That doesn't constitute a Serious Relationship to my friends. To my friends, "serious" means that if a guy likes them, they go out on dates, talk about how they envision their lives, talk about their philosophies on life, talk about their philosophies on Judaism, and stuff like that. The rest is just icing on the cake to them. If you can't do that, it's not happening because it's not serious.
Guy: I don't do stuff like that and I doubt I ever will. If I wasn't taking her seriously, why would I do all that stuff I just said?
Soulrebel: So say that some girl does say yes. You change your facebook, take her on dates, she meets your special people- everything you just said. It's going pretty well. Then, BOOM! You graduate, you get a job and start making real money, you have a birthday and realize you're getting old. SOMETHING happens. YOUR FUTURE HAS ARRIVED. All of a sudden, you have to re-evaluate your relationship with this girl and figure out if this relationship can carry forth into the future: Do you want this girl to be the mother of your children? Is she the first one you want there for your bad moments, for your weak moments, in sickness and in health? Is this love going to still be there when you're both old and less attractive? There are LOADS of people you can be perfectly compatible with if you're going on dates, changing your facebook and having them chill with your friends and family and doing EVERYTHING but significantly altering your life.
Guy: But how am I supposed to KNOW if she's that special girl if I don't see her in many scenarios over a long period of time?
Soulrebel: (This is where I don't know what to say and start stuttering about maturity and not knowing what I'm talking about.)
Bottom line, I feel like Guy is using faulty logic here, but I can never make Guy understand that something here is contradicting itself. Maybe I'm bad at convincing Guy of this because I'm a girl, or maybe I'm wrong.
So Frumteens- what do you think?