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Under The Chuppah.


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#1 luv2rebel

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Posted 26 December 2012 - 09:34 AM

I've heard tht the wedding day is considered to be like Yom Kippur and therefore one should ask forgiveness from ppl they may have wronged so that they step under the chuppa totally 'clear' and ready to start their new life.
What happens if YOU can't forgive someone on your wedding day??
Will this affect you? Obviously dragging hurt feelings into a marriage will affect you emotionally etc, but are there any spiritual ramifications to this?

#2 Punims

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Posted 01 January 2013 - 01:35 AM

I just read somewhere that Hashem will treat you how you treat others.

 

If you take the huge step to forgive someone even though it is extremely hard for you, Hashem will clean your slate and forgive you.  Wouldn't you want that on your wedding day?

 

Forgiving doesn't mean that inside of you, you feel that the person was right. It just means trying to give up on all the hard feelings that you carry around about them. They could still be totally wrong and could still have upset you. You just have to let go and feel okay about them as a person. Try to come up with lots of reasons and excuses that would've forced them to do what they did to you.



#3 luv2rebel

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Posted 01 January 2013 - 06:32 AM

What if the person doesn't even ask you for mechila? If you do or don't forgive them

#4 luv2rebel

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Posted 01 January 2013 - 06:39 AM

Basically what your saying is its more like being דן לכף זכות ץ...tht makes things A LOT easier.
What about if the person who ruined me doesn't even ask for forgiveness? By forgiving her I'm not being עובר על מדותי.....??
And once u justify their actions in your head, what ARE u meant to do with the feelings u get from time to time...what are u meant to do with the ramifications of their actions...the ones tht affect ur daily life?