9 replies to this topic

[luv2rebel]

You said you really loved me,
and that your care for me runs far...
but your status changed so fast,
leaving me in pain and scarred.

When I say I feel unloved,
its me at fault again.
Why won't you take the hint,
and show me love again??

The love that you had shown me
was so real, so true,
It gave me a chance
To finally feel secure.

It made me feel for once,
like a child who is protected
your warm arms around my cold ones,
how could i feel rejected?

It was with you that i would dare
To take down my walls and cry,
you'd sit with me, hold my hand
and wipe my teardrops dry.

Now we're far apart,
i miss you in my life,
the memories of us together
feels like my sharp razor's knife.

Its not just the distance
thats keeping us apart,
it the absence of love in my life
that truly rips my heart.

Stop blocking your emotions!!
Be here for me once more......
I need you so so badly,
Why do you choose to ignore?

My self esteem is lowest.
Someone loved me and now doesn't...
doesnt that just tell me
That i'm a piece of garbage?

Yes i tried to distance myself,
to be less of a burden on you,
But that never did mean
That i stopped loving you.

You text me that you care,
when you email me you do.
What is it in real life
tht keeps on stopping you??

Do i deserve this hate,
the lack of love or interest?
Just merely weeks ago
You told me i'm the best.

Go on, try and break me
The job is almost done.
i guess you'll figure that out
When you hear that i am gone.

''What doesnt kill you makes you stronger'',
Is what you told me with love when we parted.
And what actually does kill you??
You'll know when i've departed.

[Role Model Wannabe]

YESSS! Another fabulously written poem by one of my favorite poets! I can't stop marveling at your poetic skills, in case you haven't noticed!
Anyway, eventhough I love the writing, I don't love the idea! (as you probably predicted from previous posts!)
Really, you'll "depart" because of a person who just stopped caring? I recently lost one of my best friends for reasons still unbeknownst to me and I felt terrible. I no longer wanted to go to school since I'd be seeing her everyday for the rest of my school life, but eventhough I'm in this sticky situation where I want her back, and she doesn't want to come back and it is one of the worst feelings in the world, I learned that I can not halt my life for them. She was my friend, and I loved her, and I would undoubtedly take her back instantly, but since there is nothing I felt I can do right now, I've learned that there is, and it's called "moving on." Losing someone you love because they no longer want to care for you, no longer want to be there for you, and no longer smile at you is s terrible feeling, but you control your life, they don't. They "controlled" their life by choosing to no longer be there for you, and I'm sure it was their mistake, but don't let that ever stop you from living your own life, to its maximum.
My friend left for reasons that were illogical, reasons involving her own esteem issues, and I tried to reason with her, but when all is said and done, and they've left, you have the ultimate choice- to move on or not.

[TruthSeeker]

Omg I feel EXACTLY like that you have no idea....thank for expressing the feelings I could not;)

[luv2rebel]

Hey...thanx 4 replyin...it means tons! I'm not that confident with my writing, so comments are gr8!! Its so so tough ryt now...and role model wannabe, you make tonsa sense......to my logic! But in my heart, i can't! This girl was my closest closest friend!! She was the 1st person i felt who totally understood me as a whole person...my past, n present. And she accepted me, and encouraged me to open up to her......i feel lyk these recent events are just a show. But they're not!! She's serious. Even if she's feelin guilty n stuff, how cum this all happened......... All these thoughts plague me nyt n day, n i can't function normally...at tyms when i'm all worked up, i actually throw up from it. It affects me so deeply...n i feel as tho i can't control it. She matters too much 4 me...any tiny thing reminds me of her...! The sun could be shining, n a certain sweet memory, will bittersweetly refuse to budge outta my mind... I can't do this anymore......i miss her so so much... But i'm too broken n too frightened to eva stand up 4 myself again... If i talk to her...i'll neva tell her how i feel...i'll neva tell her how deeply deeply she hurt me. SHE! She who always took away my pain hurt me in the deepest place. And now theres no person to b here when i'm hurtin most......

[jewishthought]

i feel exactly the same with one of my friends!!! and i was like almost crying when i read this!

[luv2rebel]

i feel exactly the same with one of my friends!!! and i was like almost crying when i read this!

gosh!! Another person bein hurt in this most painful way!!!!! Its not normal......i can't do this anymore................ra.

[taon]

I wish i could say something to help. Im so rosy you're going through this.... but if you look through http://classic.frumteens.com/forum.php?forum_id=12 you might find some advice from similar situations...good luck

[luv2rebel]

Thanks taon...
I actually found this link--

http://classic.frumt... Poetry&M=0&S=1

Sooo applicable...I felt as though I had written it myself. So wierd that it was written years ago...n I feel it describes me, my feelings n situation down to the last detail....

[Role Model Wannabe]

Hey, wasn't on in a really long time, but I've seen some of ur qs and I just thought that you're soo much like me!

anyways, did this situation somehow get any better? like, did logic start taking over yet? 

[luv2rebel]

Hey rolemodelwannabe,
It's been a roller coaster ride of some highs, and many many lows.
Ryt now, as I write this, I kinda pretty lowwww.
I'm really not handling this situation. I mean logically, ye great...lets move on...it's been so long anyway, and from a logical perspective, who cares? This friend dusnt even live on the same continent as me, so technically, my day to day life would look exactly the same even if she HADNT stabbed me n slashed me n burnt the pieces. (My pillows may b dryer.....that's abt it;-p)
That's the logic. It sumtyms works (yayyy) n sumtyms dusnt ;(;(
Lyk when I get into bed, n watever I tell myself won't help, won't ease the pain...
Lyk when I'm desperately itchin to call her, hear her voice again...IM STILL IN DENIAL!!!! She CARED abt me so much. I don't c how this could suddenly turn around in my face.
It's been soooo long already...will I EVERRRR heal from this trauma????